Doubt (Not about creepy priests)

Lots of hard work going on yesterday and today.  Finally got Glimpse for print all squared away, just waiting on a new cover design from my sister.  She’s an art professor, so she was naturally horrified when I proceeded to submit the cover that she’d made for e-book only purposes to Createspace for printing.  Like I know a DPI from a hole in the ground.  Luckily, the peeps at Createspace caught the error before they printed it and saved me from having my sister never speak to me again.  She spent the day designing me a new cover, which I thought was really cool, but didn’t have a lot to do with the content of Glimpse.  I didn’t want readers to see the new cover and expect what they saw there to be within the book, because it wasn’t.  A crying fight ensued, a hang up, my sister smoked cigarettes and thought about it while I wished I could smoke cigarettes and think about it, but I made the kids dinner instead.  Finally, an excellent new idear and a reconciliation.  Thank god.  We’re supposed to go drinking this weekend.

But wait!  That was the second time I cried today.  Such a crazy day.  This morning I got an e-mail from a writer friend who is in the process of having many of her short stories and short novels published.  She likes to be on the lookout for publishers for me and she sent me information about Museitup!  a Canadian e-pub.  I checked them out and they seem really cool.  Now, here’s where the crying comes in.  Every time she sends me a new place to submit to, I go through this, like, severe doubt about everything I’m doing.  Should I take Glimpse down from Amazon and Smashwords and Goodreads and Scribd and YouPublish?  Should I e-mail Createspace and in all caps yell “STOP THE PRESSES!” ?  Should I dismantle the website and take down the Facebook page?  Because that’s what I would have to do to submit the book to any of these e-pubs and if I did do that, there’s still no guarantee that they wouldn’t reject the manuscript.  And I’m so done being rejected.  Just for a little bit, I don’t want to worry about what some editor in Tennessee or Arizona or wherever think of my book that I poured several years into, I want to care that I think it’s complete.  It’s not that I’m afraid of rejection, but I don’t need for Glimpse to be rejected anymore.  Rejection can catch up to me again when I’m ready to submit *Glimmer* to the masses.  I also don’t want to dissuade my friend from sending me info on e-pubs, because now I’m entertaining the idea of writing short stories and shorter novels in addition to the Zellie Wells trilogy, and I wasn’t considering that at all yesterday.  I did take Glimpse down from YouPublish because while I got 36 readers, no one bought the book and it didn’t seem like they were going to.  I’ve got enough free excerpt action going on at Smashwords and Scribd.  No need to push it.

I changed my Facebook ad two days ago to point people toward my website and not to my Facebook page.  Boy, was that a stupid idea.  I went from 7 clicks a day and 3 new FB friends to 0 clicks today.  It could be Thursday or it could be time to redirect the ad.  I know I’m a bit leery of clicking on a FB ad that goes somewhere other than FB and I didn’t take that into consideration.  Ah well, it’s been an interesting experiment and a fairly cheap one too.

Any other news to report/get off my chest?  I worked on closing some plot holes in *Glimmer* today and wrote an almost make-out scene while listening to The Pixies.  That did wonders for improving my mood.  Now I must go fix the hubs and I some dinner and watch the Modern Family from last night.  Is that show totally fricking hilarious or what?

Night, all.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s