Tag Archives: conundrums

New covers, an interview and #ROW80

Behold.  The Zellie Wells trilogy has all new covers!

I finally gave in to all the pressure from the road and transparent building haterz and put Zellie on the covers. ūüôā¬† I’m quite pleased with them and think my sister did an awesome job.

I’d been reluctant to put a person on the cover because I didn’t want to influence reader’s ideas of what the characters looked like. (That’s also why I don’t spend much time describing them except initially.)

For me, I know that when I’m reading a book, most of the time what I picture the characters looking like and the suggestion of what they look like on the cover don’t jibe.¬† Maybe I’m weird that way. (In my mind, Peeta from the Hunger Games is the brunette and Gale is the blonde.)

But, then I got this Land’s End catalog in the mail and there was Zellie right on the front.¬† The exact Zellie that’s in my head and she was posing with a cute brunette Avery-in-his-twenties¬†to boot! My sister had someone to model her drawings after.

It was meant to be.

Thank you, Universe!

Another great thing that happened to me this week (don’t worry, it hasn’t all been roses) is that author Angela Carlie asked if she could interview me on her blog.¬† She does a series on Fridays¬†called (Someday) Famous YA Author.¬† She asked great questions and is a super cool person.¬† You guys should totally read her books. You can read my interview here.

And now for the dandelion part of my week.

ROW80¬†update: Glow’s not finished yet.¬† I had my butt¬†in the chair writing on it all week, but I hit a wall on Thursday. Chapter 19 made the Chapter 11 debacle look like a day at the fair. I rewrote it seven times between Thursday and Friday and then I had to give up and watch Kyle XY and eat cookies.

Things went better on Saturday.¬† I managed to get my act together and fix 19 and then bust out 20 and 21.¬† I’m halfway through 22, which is the big action-y showdown and then all that’s left is the epilogue.

I really wanted to get Glow out in June because my sales are tanking, (I’ve sold as many books this month as I was selling per day in March) but it looks like it will be out in July.¬†This means the next DoS story will probably be out in August instead of July.

And then I’m taking a three-week vacation because I be burnt out.

On the upside, the tanking sales have forced me to do some actual marketing. ūüôā I tweeted about The Toilet Business in a, hopefully, not annoying way all day today.¬† That effort garnered me a new review and two copies sold. Yay!

Okay, that’s all the blabbing I can handle for today. I apologize for the paragraph I used the word “out” in 16 times.¬†I was going to schedule this post to go live at midnight and it’s 12:13. Time for bed!


Protecting the innocent-ish

Lately I’ve been working on new essays for The Toilet Business.¬† The happenings in these are slightly more recent and involve less law breaking.¬† In these essays I haven’t felt the pull to change my friends and co-workers names as much for that reason.¬† Also, in fairness, I¬†haven’t used anyone’s last name.¬† But what of the people who got up to shenanigans with me in our youth?

It’s one thing for me to use my real name, but many of these other¬†people have become lawyers, teachers, successful business owners and parents.¬† They would probably like what happened in 1993 to stay in 1993.

I’ve done¬†a few different things to fix this problem:¬†I’ve randomly assigned letters to their names or changed their names just enough so that people who already knew the story will know who I’m talking about.

That’s for the people who I like and am still friends with.

If you at any time threatened my job, my life, or the lives of the people we were supposed to take care of; your real name stays in the essay. (Again, no last names are used.)

Petty?¬† Sure.¬† But sometimes it’s the little things that make me the happiest. ūüôā

I’m going to start posting excerpts of The Toilet Business on Sundays for #SampleSunday.¬† Easter seemed like a good day to start coming clean.

Brandin’ and reprimandin’

I have no idea why I titled this post that.¬† It rhymes.¬† I’ve also eaten a lot of Easter candy today and am kinda spazzy¬†at the moment.¬† Lookout, there’s gonna be some rambling.¬† If you’re not in the mood to take a ride with Princess Crazytown, turn back now…

Still here?

Hi!¬† If you’ve visited my blog before, you’ll notice that a few things have changed.¬† Like…it’s now my website and if you type my full name into your browser, this is where you’ll end up. I know, I know.¬† It took me long enough.

Some¬†authors have their shit together (Zoe Winters, Kait¬†Nolan, Susan Bischoff¬†to name a few) and some do not (Stacey Wallace Benefiel). When I started this whole self-publishing thing a year ago, there wasn’t nearly as much useful information on the internet as there is now and I made a lot of mistakes with¬† branding myself¬†and building my platform. (Sounds like we all work at a ranch.)

There wasn’t an Indie Book Collective or Becoming an Indie Author at my disposal.¬† I didn’t go into this endeavor completely blind, I read everything I could find, but like I said, there wasn’t much.¬† No one was saying, “here are the steps to follow, do these things.”

Therefore, I ended up with a website and a blog that had essentially all the same content on them, an unprofessional Twitter handle and a Facebook fan page that was hard to find because of what I’d named it.

I have two parents, like everyone does.¬† My dad was a research veterinarian for 35 years. (Use Frontline? My parents thank you for their new house.) Because he¬†spent his work life¬†researching and testing, in his home life¬†my dad is impulsive.¬† If, at 11pm at night he desires a banana split, he goes and gets a banana split.¬† He doesn’t consider the consequences of eating a heartburn bomb right before he goes to bed, he just does what he wants to do.¬† On the other hand, my mom is a worrier.¬† She overthinks and considers everyone’s opinion and wants to do what’s best for the group.¬† My parents are a good balance for each other.

But they made me.¬† I’m both hugely impulsive and hugely indecisive.¬† I’ve been known to take off and go to the casino for the day because it’s Tuesday.¬†I’ve also been known to¬†fret over whether or not I should put a chip clip on the leftovers¬†of a bag of steam-in-the-bag corn because I don’t know what method of reheating would be best.¬† In the bag? In a ceramic bowl?¬† Will it burn or be overcooked if I don’t cover it?¬† Who cares?¬† I just won $200 on slots, I could¬†just buy another bag. (Please don’t chastise me for microwaving veggies in plastic bags.¬† I’ve been ingesting Sweet-N-Low for thirty-some years; I think I’m immune to toxins by now. I am made of Diet Coke.)

Getting back on track: When it came to branding and building my platform, I researched to the best of my abilities.  I fretted over using my real name or a pen name.  I wanted to make sure I was doing things correctly.

 But then I just said eff it and started signing up for stuff.

Um, don’t do what I did.¬† A year later I’m still cleaning up my messes. The Facebook¬†page is now named after me (Author Stacey Wallace Benefiel)¬†and my twitter handle is pretty close to my name (Stacey_WB).¬† That left the website/blog melding.

My website is fine, although I never go there except to update it after a new release.¬† Neither does anyone else.¬† It’s kinda boring and blah and I could never really settle on a template.¬† With my blog, I like the template I have and more people cruise¬†by here.¬† There’s some interaction.¬† It also has the preferrable domain.¬† As my sister pointed out, no one is going to type StaceyWB.com into their browser on a whim, they’re going to type my full name.

So, check it out and let me know if you think anything is missing.¬† Meanwhile, I have to go to all my book pages on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Smashwords and change the web address.¬† Fun times.¬† I’m saving the task of changing it in all my books for when I go on one of my quarterly re-uploading sprees.

All right, Princess Crazytown is over and out.  I talk at you all again later this week when my sugar high has hopefully worn off.

One Year

It’s my indieversary!¬† And stop haterz, self-publishversary just doesn’t sound as good, okay? ūüôā

Whatever you want to call it, I’ve been a published writer for a year! A year that started and ended just before my birthday, so, to me, age 35 will always be the year I got my act together and finally started doing what I wanted with my life.

I’d like to thank my readers for buying my books, writing reviews, and helping me realize my dream of making a living from writing.

A big awkward girlie high-five to all the book bloggers who have reviewed my books, interviewed me, spread the word and held contests.¬† I appreciate the support you’ve given me and I hope you all know how instrumental you are in helping to build my writing career.

To all the writers I’ve become friends with this year,¬†let’s have a convention or something.¬† And by convention, I mean a¬†big party where we all drink beers, quote Buffy and get to hang out in person.¬† You guys are the best.¬† Thanks for showing me the ropes and commiserating and having my back.¬† Thank you for writing books that don’t suck and feeding my reading habit as well. ūüôā

Soooooooo¬†many thanks to Sarah, my BFF. Thanks for the editing and suggestions and chats on FB and all the Busch Light/ Masterpiece Theatre evenings.¬† If you like what I write, then I know it’s good enough. ūüôā

Eleventy-billion hugs and kisses to my sister for lovingly and repeatedly telling me to get off my ass and write a book already.  Thanks for believing in me!

And to my family – my crazy kids, my long-suffering-at-his-horrible-job-so-I-could-make-a-go-of-being-a-writer husband, my fantastically supportive parents – I love and appreciate you all more than you could know!

I don’t really have anything brand spankin’ new to give away right now, but if you all would like an e-copy of Day of Sacrifice Vol. 1-3, simply leave your e-mail in the comments and I’ll send you the Smashwords code.

Thanks to everyone for making my first year as an indie author a fabulous one and here’s to the next year being just as great!

#ROW80 update 6 (for reals this time)-SWB

Feeling pretty good about the challenge this week despite all the, um, challenges I had.¬† I did take two days off and feel no guilt about that.¬† My house was gloriously clean for one whole day and the 8 hours I spent cleaning it were well worth it.¬† During my no-writing days I also got to eat pho and fish tacos and see The King’s Speech and The Social Network.¬†¬†¬† Good times.¬†

My main goals are:

Write 500 words a day/ 3,000 a week- Su-350 on Dormant, M-506 on Glow, T-380 on Glow, 73 on Dormant, W-0, Th-0, F-396 on Dormant, 306 on Glow, S-537 on Glow.¬† That’s 2,548 words total, so I didn’t make goal, but do feel more sane than I did last week. ūüôā

Blog three times a week: Yup.

I should be able to get my act together and make goal in week 4 as my schedule returns to normal.

I’m at a weird point in both Glow and Dormant where I’ve written the beginning and I know where I want to go next, but I’m having a hard time getting there.¬† Much of this has to do with the fact that all the characters I’m currently writing have been quirky side characters that were good for some quips and not a whole lot else.¬† Now that I’m focusing on them and giving them their own scenes I’m finding I don’t really know them apart from the quips.¬† So, right now I’m writing a lot of dialogue without action and I’ll go back and fill that in later.

Another weird thing about Glow and Dormant is that they are both THE THIRD in their respective series.¬† With the first’s you have no idea what you’re doing and you hope for the best.¬† You expect reader’s to not like the second’s as much, even though you like¬†them better because you feel like you know what you’re doing this time.¬† The third’s? I feel like with the third’s I have to prove that I can take what the reader’s liked about the first’s and I liked about the second’s and use all that to make them the BEST so far.¬†

Ugh. I hate that last paragraph.¬† Me and my¬†worries¬†¬†can suck it.¬† Move forward, quit yer whinin’.

And on that note…good luck in week 4 my writerly peeps. ūüôā


I seriously need one of those things that you speak into and it types for you.¬† After pre-Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas, the girl’s birthday parts 1-3, and finishing Rebellion, I have an awesome case of carpal tunnel.¬†

Dear Toy Manufacturers:¬† Enough with the impossible tape and 75 twist ties per item in each hard to get into box.¬† Enough with the miniscule parts that “click” together (only when I stand on top of them)¬†and the picture directions with confusing arrows that don’t actually tell me how or what order to put things together in.¬†

¬†I have enough toys in my house to start a daycare.¬† My kids are very happy with everything they got, but I’m pretty sure they would have been happy with half as much.

Next year we’re going to give our money to Matt Damon and let him build some wells on our behalf in Africa. ūüôā

Of course, all my kindle “next page” clicking could be contributing to my owie wrists.¬† This is the time of year when I read a lot.¬† As you may have gathered, December stresses me the fuck out, so escaping in a book for several hours each evening is a must.

Last year I got my kindle for Christmas and by the 29th was probably on the¬†second Outlander book.¬† I straight abandoned my family for a month reading those.¬† I needed extra escape last year, I was pretty bummed.¬† I’d¬†rewritten Glimpse and received about 40 rejections at that point.¬† I was going into 2010 asking myself, “What happens when you write a decent book and you can’t get anyone to read it?”

After I finished the Outlander¬†books I was on the lookout for other things like it-something with romance and adventure that was kind of sci-fi/fantasy.¬† I didn’t realize this was an actual genre.¬† I delved into the House of Night books and Vampire Academy.¬† Great books, but YA and at $10,¬†kind of expensive for e-books. (To her publisher’s credit, the Outlander books are all about $5 for an 1,000 “page” e-book, a more reasonable price I think.)¬† That’s when I found Kept by Zoe Winters.¬† It was 99 cents.¬† Devoured it.¬† Loved it.¬† Needed more.¬†

But who published her books?¬† I couldn’t figure it out.¬† I stumbled on e-publishers and submitted Glimpse to a couple of them. Met a great author named Ashlynn¬†Monroe who helped me navigate the submission process.¬† More rejections, but nicer ones and this time with notes!¬† Apparently, Glimpse was a YA novel in the making, not a family saga like I’d thought.¬† Query redo!¬† More submissions!¬† More nice rejections with contradictory suggestions!¬† I started writing Glimmer to get my mind off the madness.¬† Then, yay! A publisher requested specific rewrites for resubmission…and then turned it down.¬† By this time I’d figured out that Kept was self-published.¬† Really?¬† But self-published books supposedly sucked and Kept most definitely didn’t.

I started reading Zoe’s blog posts (I caught her at a time when she was super rah rah indie and on the internet constantly) and¬†gleaned everything I could from what she was saying.¬† Damn.¬† I was inspired.¬† So, I took my 8 times revised Glimpse and I self-published it as an e-book.¬† A month later I put out the paperback with Createspace and I waited.

Twelve people bought my book.

I could not effing believe it.

I started posting the blurb on the kindle message boards (only in the appropriate places!!) and got a Goodreads account.¬† A writer named Jess C Scott and I traded review copies.¬† This one chick, Amanda Hocking, and I did the same. (How funny to think that there was a time when either of them had to ask for reviews!) V.J. Chambers randomly found my blog¬†and liked Glimpse-I geeked¬†out on her books.¬†I signed up for Twitter and met Susan Bischoff, who knew my roomate¬†from college, Christel, who knew Zoe Winters and Kait¬†Nolan, who knew Claire Farrell, and Belinda Kroll, and Lauralynn¬†Elliott, and Reena Jacobs, and Imogen Rose.¬† It just keeps spiraling, I’m meeting and reading more awesome authors, like, every freaking day.

So, this December 29th is a lot more hopeful.¬† I published two novels and a short story this year.¬† Wrote another short story that will be out next week.¬† Signed up to be a sponsor in ROW80. Met a ton¬†of wonderful writers and book bloggers that I now consider friends.¬† Found a community.¬† And as of this morning, I’ve sold nearly 2,500 books.¬† Sure, other writers sold more, in some cases A LOT more, but when I think of myself at this time last year, having not sold a single book, 2,500 is a great figure.¬† (This sentence is dedicated to Sarah for my extreme and probably inappropriate use of commas.)

When my husband gave a long rambling toast at our wedding, my first duty as his wife was to interrupt him and say, “What he’s trying to say people, is, thank you!”

Readers, writers, bloggers: What I’m trying to say people, is, thank you.

Stay in skool

I’m letting my son stay home from preschool and I’m having that weird feeling that I used to get when I played hooky from work that we will be discovered doing something we’re not supposed to be doing, like watching Cartoon Network instead of practicing “Away in a Manger” for the Christmas play. (Ha.¬† Before kids that sentence would have read: Sneaking into the movies and then going to the bar at 3 pm.)¬† He’s not sick, he just hates school.¬† Hates it enough to throw a screaming, crying, begging tantrum every time he has to go.¬† It upsets his sister, it upsets me, and I just don’t feel like dealing today.¬† But the guilt!¬† The school is paid for!¬† Today is the last day of practice for the Christmas play! We just had the weekend!¬† Oy. As penance I will be doing 6 loads of laundry, taking the kids grocery shopping, and cleaning the house…eventually.¬† For now we watch the Scooby-doo.

Over at author Belinda Kroll’s blog, she has made a list of indies to buy from this holiday season.¬† She has included other indies besides authors and I’d like to add my friend Lorilee’s¬†handmade wooden toys to the list.¬† You can find Lorilee¬†on etsy here.¬† Her Mama Kopp toys are awesome and she is a woodworking fiend.¬† If you have little ones, her toys are something different to give them this holiday season.

I also got a good giggle at this post¬†by ScaryMommy¬†this morning. As the mother of a December baby-my daughter’s birthday is December 27th-I can relate.¬†

I realize I’ve done nothing but talk about my kids this morning, which was not what I set out to write about when I put my butt in my office chair.¬† Sometimes you just gotta go with it.¬† This is my life. And there is always the next blog post to write.

Rest assured I made awesome progress on Rebellion this weekend.¬† Got another couple thousand words down and left my characters in two precarious situations that I will spend the rest of the story getting them out of.¬† It’s nice when I can get things set up and then have a clear idea of what I’m going to write when I get a chance to do it.

Everyone have a happy Monday and, shhhh!, don’t tell Mrs. Sweeney what we’re doing!

Guided by voices

Happy Friday!¬† I’m a bit sleepy this morning after a late night out with Sarah seeing Burlesque.¬† It was cheesy perfection!¬† There are lots of evil glares and sequins and cheeky dance moves.¬† Christina and Cher were fabulous-both sounded and looked great.¬† Cher’s face was a little immovable, but she made up for that with mesmerizing glitter eyeshadow that I deeply covet and would have nowhere to wear. I suggested that maybe Sarah and I could Burlesque our faces up for our friend’s Christmas party, but we weren’t sure how well it would go with our sensible corduroys and turtleneck sweaters.¬† Alas, it might be the kind of thing that only works with a¬†black lace halter dress.

Yesterday on Susan Bischoff’s blog she talked about why her characters have potty mouths.¬† It was an interesting discussion and I was thinking about talking about the reviews Glimmer has been getting because of the increased cursing and sexual situations from Glimpse, but then Susan said this in the comments: “Plus, I think I‚Äôm going to have to give up reading them. (reviews)¬†The criticisms are voices in my head when I‚Äôm writing, and the praises are voices in my head when I‚Äôm not writing, telling me to hurry up and finish and make sure it measures up. :stresses:”

So, sequels.

Writing¬†the first book in a series¬†is hard, you’re not sure of yourself, you wonder if anyone is going to want to read this thing that you have spent months pouring your heart and soul and brain into.¬† But you put it out there and hope for the best.¬† The first book¬† becomes your proving ground.¬† “Can I do this thing that I believe I can do?”¬† And then you get fans (the coolest and weirdest thing) and good reviews¬†(and a few bad reviews)¬†and you think, “I did this thing that I believed I could do.”

Writing¬†the second book is both easier and harder.¬† You know what works for you and what doesn’t, but now you have¬†expectations to meet that you didn’t have the first time around.¬† There are actual other people to write the book for besides yourself. You read your reviews and the beta reader comments and you have to decide how to write what you want to write while satisfying as many expectations as you can.¬† And that, my friends, is effing¬†nerve-wracking.¬†

This is the spot I’m in with Rebellion right now.¬† The nerve-wracking¬†“will it meet expectations” spot.¬† All this feeling is good for is fueling procrastination.¬† I know I need to write myself out of it.¬† I had a great writing day the other day and I know another will come, but for some reason I can’t stop looking at the few so-so reviews Glimmer has gotten (which¬†are far less than the number of good reviews its received. Thus proving that I like to make myself crazy.) and thinking “sophomore slump.”¬† This especially bums me out because I like Glimmer better.¬† I think my writing improved, the pace improved, I had more fun.

Back to Susan’s quote.¬† It made me realize something that I hadn’t before.¬† When people review a book, they’re not talking to me.¬† It may seem like they are, like they are telling me what to do or asking for what they’d liked to have seen more of, but who they are really talking to is other readers.¬† When someone reviews a book, all they are really saying is “read this, I liked it” or “don’t read this, I didn’t like it.”¬† Reviews are great for building your platform and garnering new readers, but they aren’t a blueprint for what you should be writing.¬† I’m going to try to keep this in mind and get on with the writing.¬† Thanks for listening to me give myself a pep talk.:)

Did I mention I was tired?


I had a great weekend with my girlfriends at the beach and the best thing about it was all the laughing.¬† I’m talking about pee-in-your pants laughing over awesome things such as bemoaning¬†the lack of a real boa constrictor for my friend Erica to use when doing her Britney “I’m a Slave for You” video reenactment. I feel good coming off two days of outlet shopping and acting like a dork and wearing sweat pants.¬† I also purchased incredibly impractical faux fur-lined¬†boots.¬† It was nice, for a while, to not worry about blog posts, tweets, Goodreads stars, Amazon rankings, relevant Facebook updates, NaNo word count, typos, or the¬†undercurrent of competition and dramah that sometimes pops up unexpectedly in my beloved indie community.¬† Notice I didn’t say writing.¬† I love the writing even when it’s not going well and I think about it constantly.¬† I understand that all the other stuff is what comes with being an indie and that it’s all necessary, but I’m not sure I have to be¬†so involved that it takes away most of my writing time.

I think the best “marketing” move I ever made was just to keep writing and putting out more quality material for people to read.¬† More books to choose from=more sales.¬† If that ain’t the DUH of the century.¬† So, if you don’t see me around on Twitter or Goodreads as much it’s because I’m busy writing (and doing laundry and cutting up apples for my kids and giving my ancient dog Ophelia her meds and going to the grocery store and watching Glee) and worrying less about my stats.¬† I’m not giving up social media altogether, that would be a silly and idiotic move, but I am only going to check things twice a day or once a week instead of hourly.¬† Like with any other work from home job, you gotta prioritize and the past couple of months I’ve been living in a “what I think other people expect me to do” kind of world as opposed to a “doing what I need to do” world.

And now, because everyone needs some sexy on a Monday afternoon:


Nobody likes them, everybody makes them.¬† Even though I’m gonna read this blog post four times before I publish it ¬†there will be typos in it, it’s almost guaranteed. (Maybe in that sentence I just wrote.)

Two things happened to me yesterday: I got an e-mail from Emily at Super Reader Girl Reviews¬†with a list of typos she’d found in Glimpse and another e-mail from the owner of Orange House Press, a letterpress business in Seattle, hoping I would stop publishing under that imprint because she’d just bought the Orange House Press domain name.¬† My first thoughts regarding both e-mails were, F**K.

Then I got my head on straight.¬† The list of typos Emily sent me weren’t¬†just some misplaced commas, but several missing words and screwed up tenses.¬† Stuff that needed to be changed.¬† Now Glimpse has been edited about a billion times-by me, by Sarah, by betas, by agents, and small press publishers.¬† It doesn’t even resemble the book it started out as.¬† The similarities between the current version of Glimpse and the original are the character names and the climax of the story.¬† That’s it.¬† The original was written from every characters point of view.¬† That’s why I have mountains of backstory, because it used to be part of the book.¬† So, I assumed that it was fairly typo-free when I self-published it last April.¬† Then the e-mails started coming in.¬† And believe you me, I have a love/hate relationship with those kinds of e-mails.¬† I wanna know, but I don’t wanna know. I revised it.¬† Then I revised it again.¬† Then I said, “F**K it, this baby is done.”¬† Then came the Great There/Their Controversy of Summer 2010.¬† I revised that mutha AGAIN.¬† You get it, right?¬† You understand that for me reading Glimpse makes me want to claw my eyes out?¬† But I know you all don’t feel that way and you deserve to have the best version of Glimpse I can give you.¬† I owe that to you.¬† I also get that.¬† Therefore, I went through and edited Glimpse this morning with Emily’s notes and reformatted it and republished it on Smashwords, Pubit, Amazon, and in print. (The print version I was actually happy to do because it needed a refreshing format-wise.)

And here’s the thing: I found a couple more typos that Emily had missed and also forgot to change one in all of my e-book formats.¬† If this doesn’t effing prove that I’m the most fallible¬†human of human-y humans that ever walked this planet, I don’t know what will.¬† So, please, if you find any typos in Glimmer and feel like telling me about them, I would appreciate it very much.¬† My e-mail is staceywb@frontier.com .

As for the Orange House Press name?¬† I’m in the process of removing it from all my books-Amazon is going to take the longest because, well, they just take the longest, but I feel like my good deed for the day is done.¬† Sure, I could have screwed her over and told her that the name is splashed all over everything I’ve written in the past year, but why?¬† It’s on there because I live in an orange house and thought it was cool, not because it was my life long desire to have a business called Orange House Press.¬† Plus, guys, letterpress is pretty kick ass and this lady is just an artist like my sister trying to make interesting and aesthetically pleasing things.

The morals of this tale are these:¬† I can’t spell or punctuate, but I can write. I’m not a total bitch. And, I’m so not gonna make my word count for NaNo today.